college

Your roommate, AKA the person who witnesses your worst habits and pretends it’s fine. Bond varies from soulmate to sworn rival.

“My roomie snores like a tractor.”

A low-effort way to say ‘professor’—usually only used behind their back unless you’re feeling bold or reckless.

“My chem prof assigns homework like he hates us.”

The world of fraternities and sororities—where parties, charity events, and matching sweatshirts rule. Equal parts social club and chaos generator.

“Greek life on campus is wild this year.”

The legendary weight gain that sneaks up on college newbies armed with unlimited dining hall buffets. Not guaranteed, but extremely likely.

“Unlimited pizza? Hello freshman 15.”